Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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