dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
