I want you more than these girls want KFC
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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