Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
