just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
