Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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