If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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