i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
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I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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