So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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