gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
