She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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