The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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