i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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