she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I cut my penus on the lid.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
