This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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