wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
do nipples grow back?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
