Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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