new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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