I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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