Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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