The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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