He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
