Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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