it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
