Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
