you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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