dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
