I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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