yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
