Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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