Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
