If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
