I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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