Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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