she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
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scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
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Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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