If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
