Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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