Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
