Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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