first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
