The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
