I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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