Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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