I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
