Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
