It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
