i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
