Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize