Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
