My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You made out with two different species that night
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
