Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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