coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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