is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
