Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
