I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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