We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
