So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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