okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Blow job season was short but glorious.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
