there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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