your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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