I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
