Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize