five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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