Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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