we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
false alarm. still invincible.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
