i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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