So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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